CHEWING THE CUD

by Meredith Linden

In the particular state I am in, I really really get something about baseball.  I mean, previously I understood why baseball players did it; it’s just that I get it so much more right now.  “It” would be the chewing…of something.  If there weren’t gum or chew, they’d probably be somewhat like beavers, chewing on their bats or gloves.  Mmmm, leather.

In my particular state, with my jaw clenching and my brain flying at the speed of light, I get why they must chew so much.  I wouldn’t mind something to chew on right now, though I think it might make things worse.  I don’t really want something to eat, as that doesn’t last.  Just chewing would be the thing to do.

In my last post, I mentioned the fact that baseball is the only sport I know of during which a player can chew something.  I would guess 80% of baseball players’ time is spent waiting, watching, waiting, standing, sitting, watching, and waiting.  And not patiently, either.  They want to play, damn it.  They want to move their team forward to victory.  However, I would guess most baseball players must be of a patient sort, at least on the field, to stand that kind of delayed gratification.  Yes, I know.  I have heard the stories of the errant baseball player and his loss of patience, but how often does that happen during a game because they are tired of waiting for their turn at bat or the ball to come to them?  I don’t really know since I don’t watch it.

At any rate, right about now, I started remembering the chewing gum that came out in the 1970s.  Not the baseball card chewing sticks, though I bought those, too.  It was the bag of Big League Chew!  Wormy little pink pieces of gum you could use to emulate your favorite baseball player who may or may not get mouth cancer.  Lovely.  It came complete with a comic-style baseball player on the bag, all to remind you of the inspiration behind it.  Later came the roll of gum in a plastic box with a caricatured baseball player on the lid. 

 

Perhaps that is when baseball players began chewing gum more than chew.  Some sources say chew is banned, but when I see a player spit, I immediately think he is chewing tobacco. Also, the stuck out lower lip is a bit of a giveaway.  I heard one story that a player was probably saved from jail because he was chewing.  Apparently, he had a bad night on the field and nearly ripped someone’s head off.  I guess gum and chew can serve to alleviate tension.  Probably why I want some now.

I have no idea how this came into my consciousness except for the fact that my increased involvement with Baseball Diary has also increased my awareness of all things baseball.  Since being here, I have proclaimed baseball as boring, watched a bit of baseball, and thought about baseball much more than I have in easily 40 years.  While I am no more interested in watching all the playoff games, I am more interested in my friends’ team preferences and why as well as who might go to the Series.  And I have vowed to watch a game of baseball (preferably in total) before the season is over.  Meanwhile, I’d better get something else to do or some gum to keep me busy while I watch.